It is what it is.
I’ve heard that so often that I need to just be. The truth of everything is that it is what it always is and no perception makes it not so. I wrote an article that I recently edited to change the tone. When people don’t know and choose not to listen they tend to misrepresent what you’re actually saying.
The last few months have been a lot of me taking things the wrong way while in perfect synchronicity, people take what I say the wrong way.
Someone said to me, “You’ll always be my hero, even though you’ve lost your mind.”. I took it as a compliment only to be told I should have googled it. Many advised me to go left, others advised to go right. As I’m known to do, I tried to do what I thought was RIGHT. I made my bed, and I decided I was going to do what I vowed to.
I’m still not sure what to do with this song. I don’t like lying and the times I can remember doing so, I’ve suffered immensely for it. I was too weak to stand up for myself when I chose to lie and trust, once broken is hard to build. I’ve done things I will never live down as a result of a condition that was given a label. Everyone has a limit.
As a result of my transgressions, I was more or less left to rebuild on my own and I chose to not plead for anything I felt I didn’t deserve. Many showed me favor, even when I failed, due to the fact that I was genuinely going through a time of struggle, the likes of which I’d never seen. I will forever be thankful to the entire team at Zero Chaos who tried to keep me going forward when I thought it was my duty to go back. Months later after all the attempts, stints with professionals advising to move on, I am/was still trying to rebuild bridges. I must also thank my first Ross Squared client who even took the time to mentor me as he too had had struggles during the entrepreneurship journey.
I am definitely not a saint. However, everyone who truly knows me knows my heart and desire.
I didn’t need to write this, but I want to set the record straight in the event I expire before I get things right side up. I’ve seen enough friction forcing things to what they were so I can only now go with what is working for me.
I’ve been having trouble rounding up the team for Ross Squared due to time constraints. Trying to force things has been difficult. It was fun trying to make it happen while being down and out in the magic kingdom. However, for now, I’m moving on since I now have the opportunity to pursue an opportunity many assume is only for the legends among us. There is no question whether I can get it, I just suffered from a severe lack of self-belief despite all the praise others shoved my way when I appeared to have it together.
I spent time finding myself while applying for more opportunities than I ever needed to in the past. There is one opportunity I would consider moving back for at this time and it would be an epic opportunity, but that recruiter, with the most heartfelt response to a query I had, advised that in my position he might’ve made the choice I am now making.
I don’t see the future. However, my intuition and common sense are just telling me that New York is now my new home. I love my wife, my friends and all the people I met. If it ever makes sense, I will be back. I’m just not in a position to continue to roll the dice while other people foot the bill. I’m doing this for me, and the people who’ve invested in getting me to this point.
I decided to lay it all down for the cross. The hand of the almighty has moved in a way I can’t deny. I will therefore do my best to live a life that is pleasing to Him. Many disagree with my approach but I do the best I can with the spirit leading me.
So, see you later Orlando and Hello New York! I’ll be writing more and preparing for the next phase of life.
Must fund the dream!!